I only started making one a few years ago: 2022 – many visions came to life!  In 2023 I added bigger goals and dreams. I was on a roll, an upswing, things were finally coming together as is the cyclical nature of life; reading enough Pema Chödrön has taught me that. I knew to relish every joyous moment because at any moment things could fall apart. What I didn’t know was how severe the break could be. The first six months of 2023 were a beautiful dream and then it just… imploded.  

Suddenly, only pain. 

I’ll find my way through another layoff, find another job to pay the bills.  Surgery hurt me financially, physically, and psychologically but I’ll get past that too.  Losing Linus though – how many candles do I need to light the way through this loss? What is the length of a tear?  Wendell Berry believes  “that grief passes away. It has its time and place forever. More time is added to it; it becomes a story within a story. But grief and griever alike endure.”

So I begin 2024 because I have to but my heart isn’t in it.