A couple of weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night crying out for Linus. 

“Linus, come here. 

Linus, where are you?

Linus.”

I sat up, my eyes were wet. I snuggled Lucy and went back to sleep, secretly hoping he’d come back. (Don’t even ask how I thought that would be possible?) 

A few days after that I was in the bathroom (next to my bedroom) getting ready for bed. I heard a raspy meow. Huh. I looked to the bed and Lucy was knocked out on her heating pad. The TV was off. It didn’t sound like her either so that was weird, maybe it was something outside. 

I continued getting ready and heard ANOTHER raspy meow. I looked back to Lucy, she’s sound asleep, then I did a lap around my apartment looking for another cat. I don’t know! Is the living room TV on? Is the iPad playing a video and I didn’t realize? 

I go back to the bathroom to finish my skincare routine. And then I heard it again.

And I realized. 

Another scratchy meow. Linus. I put down the face lotion and looked towards the bedroom and then I looked in the mirror, looking for him. 

He wasn’t there, of course, but also he was. 

He heard me calling for him and he came to say ‘hi’. My sweet baby bear bunny boy. My soul cat, my heart.

Every day without him I’m further away from the last time I held him in my arms and that hurts. A lot. 

Knowing he’s still here, in some way, and that he hears me is a like a head butt from him or scratchy tongue kisses. I miss him so much. I’m happy I got to hear him again though.