I wonder if I killed him by moving to the mountains last year. He was so healthy in NJ and as soon as we got here he dealt with allergies, hot spots, ear infection. Then this year it was just one thing after another: kidney infection, mysterious mass, kidney disease, more allergies, heart disease, floating…

Sometimes I can’t even catch my breath, it’s unbearable. Lucy’s doing her best, always by my side.

Currently every seat on the struggle bus is occupied… by me bc oh the struggle has been real the last few days. I think maybe I thought that (say that 5x fast) that I survived the week following the heartbreak and went back to work (at both jobs) so I was doing okay. I’m not…

I’ve read about grief. I’ve heard about it. I’ve witnessed it and sympathized with others. Until this last week, I didn’t fully understand that people feel ashamed to openly grieve the loss of pets. Some people have to do this all alone bc they’re made to feel bad about their grief? I can’t fathom that.…

Linus has been gone one week now. I’ll tell you how I decided to let him go – I’d never given much thought to how he’d die. I figured they’d leave me in a few years, around 18. This was the number I had in my head. I told myself that I’d live here, in…