9 months without him. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to have him back.

It’s the 25th of the month, eight months since he left. Things have started coming together in big and small ways; I’m grateful to notice that and appreciate how hard I’ve worked hard to cultivate the good and how important relationships have been in enduring. But not a minute goes by that I’m not missing…

I dreamt of Linus. I “woke up” and felt Lucy in the crook of my elbow, looked over and saw him staring at me wide eyed and waiting. (Like the picture) he’d do this sometimes with his big saucer eyes, a little unnerving when I couldn’t figure out what he wanted but ultimately funny. Unlike…

Seven months without him. Seven months since I held him in my arms. The EMDR session helped: it opened up room to alternative narratives. It helped me get closer to accepting this new reality. “No one ever told me how sorrow traumatizes your heart, making you think it will never beat exactly the same way…

I just heard Linus. Two raspy meows coming from the kitchen. I’m in the bedroom watching Gilmore girls when I heard him. I sat right up and looked around, so startled because it was him, like he was just a few feet away yelling at me because he wanted more food or to go outside…