Seven months without him. Seven months since I held him in my arms. The EMDR session helped: it opened up room to alternative narratives. It helped me get closer to accepting this new reality. “No one ever told me how sorrow traumatizes your heart, making you think it will never beat exactly the same way…

I just heard Linus. Two raspy meows coming from the kitchen. I’m in the bedroom watching Gilmore girls when I heard him. I sat right up and looked around, so startled because it was him, like he was just a few feet away yelling at me because he wanted more food or to go outside…

Six months without him. Half a year since I said goodbye and he left me. The hardest day, the worst days. His visit in my dream helped me so much though and for the first time today I looked at his altar and smiled. It was such a gift to be with him again, if…

Linus was in my dreams last night. He hadn’t appeared to me yet but I kept waiting, asking. In the dream, my parents and I are in my old condo – they’re rummaging through the other rooms, not sure what they were doing. Linus and I are in the dining room, he’s on the table…

It’s almost six months following his death and every day I look at his pictures or paintings and think: I killed him I burned him I made his fur and bones into ash if I add water can I create clay and bring him back to life or maybe the dust he’ll reappear like a…